Friends dealing with a medical crisis or event ...

HIPPA

It is essential that friends understand they should not expect or seek medical information from the doctors and nurses caring for their friend. Friends should remember that they are not privileged to receive restricted medical information and should not share medical information without the consent of the friend. HIPPA prevents healthcare personnel, including doctors and nurses, from sharing medical information about a patient with friends or family members without the patient's permission.

Tips for Visiting a Friend in the Hospital

Be brief. Patients in the hospital are there because they are ill. They need rest, and they are likely to have numerous visitors - so make your visit short.

Remember that your timing may not be great - you may need to visit another time or day. It is also a good idea to check at the nurses' desk to be sure it is a good time to visit. The nurses caring for your friend will know the current status about whether or not your friend is too fatigued or in too much pain for a visitor.

If doctors/nurses are with your friend when you arrive, stay in the hallway, or find a visitor's lounge until the doctors/nurses are finished.

Be courteous, too, of the other patients in the hospital. Even if your friend feels up to a boisterous visit, the patient in the next room probably does not.

Make your friend's room the most cheerful room in the hospital!

• Balloons and cards add cheer to the hospital room and help to lift spirits.
• Crossword puzzles and magazines seem to be great ways to pass the time in the hospital.
• A fun notepad with a colorful marker is nice to provide for visitors to leave a note if they arrive while your friend is napping or out of the room for tests.
• A basket of candy for visitors and hospital staff is always fun.

If for some reason your friend is not able to visit with you when you arrive, you can leave your cheerful gifts with the nurses' station and the staff will make the delivery when the time is better.

Tips for Helping when a friend is going home from the hospital

Having a clean house, fresh towels and clean sheets on the beds will be very much appreciated by your friend. Enlist the WhatFriendsDo.com team to help. Many hands make little work. Be sure to check with the family first - it is important to honor their privacy - most likely they will be thrilled to find that "elves" will be at their house, so that they need not worry about tidying up. Be sure to include a few surprises:

• Fresh flowers on a bedside table
• A freshly baked pie on top of the stove.
• Check to see that basic staples like juice and bread are on hand.

It will be helpful to arrange for someone to help bring home flowers and other items accumulated during the hospital stay. Hospitals will arrange for carts to transport all of the items to the curb, but getting the patient home will be enough of a handful for family members. Not having to deal with all the 'extras' will be a great help.

General Visiting Tips

If there is a WhatFriendsDo.com team set up for your friend, be sure to check there before your visit to see if there is specific information regarding visiting, taking meals, running errands, etc.

In general, regardless of the situation - a new baby, a serious illness, a move, or a sudden death - for the most part, visits should be kept short. Friends visiting are incredibly healing in any situation - but small doses go a long way. Every time one more person enters the patient's room (or home) the fatigue level increases proportionately.

Tips for Helping Family Members who have a Relative in the Hospital

Visiting with family members awaiting the outcome of surgery is helpful.

• Take along some useful and mindless distractions, such as change for the vending machines, a current magazine and favorite snacks.
• A small notebook and pen will be helpful when the doctors update family members - suggest that someone take notes.
• Pre-paid phone cards are helpful, as cell phones often are not permitted in hospitals.
• You might also check in the hospital cafeteria to see if they sell gift cards. Food expenses for family members can add up quickly.
• Your friends will welcome hearing news about other people and world and local events. Even though their primary focus is on their family member, they still care about everyone else and will appreciate being kept informed.
• Offer to drive family members home so they can take a shower and change clothes.
• If the patient is a teen and you know a lot of his/her friends, offer to coordinate transportation for visits to the hospital. Friends are one of a teen's highest priorities!

Be resourceful and think of specific tasks you might be able to do to help. A few suggestions:

• Offer to stop by their house to take mail inside, water plants, check on pets.
• Ask if there is anyone in particular you can call.,
• Are there any errands that need to be run?
•  Did you notice their lawn needs to be mowed? Rather than ask if they'd like you to mow it, how about just doing it?

Finding tasks done will be a great treat for your friends, and small things like that go a long way to making people feel good.

Tips for Visiting a Friend Recovering from Surgery

Surgery is usually exhausting. Your friend may be very tired and will likely have physical limitations.

People recovering from surgery are typically in the most pain on Day 3. Often NOT visiting during the first few days after surgery is the right thing to do.

If you are visiting your friend at his or her home:

• Offer to run an errand on your way to visit
• While visiting:
• offer to do something specific like empty trash
• put in a load of laundry
• run the vacuum cleaner.
• A quiet presence to simply answer the phone or to be on call should your friend need you is as helpful as talking.

While laughter is great medicine, remember that it isn't the best thing for someone with new stitches: Keep the jokes to light humor.